I don’t want to come across all sensitive and miserable this morning but I always think honesty is the best policy. I was having one bad week, things were going from bad to worse, by Saturday night I was about ready to give up on life, (not actually for real before you all begin to worry) but everything felt on top of me and whilst I was buried deep in my own pity party, I kept scrolling through Facebook and Instagram that evening looking at all the fun things everyone was up to, the amazing places people were visiting, the nice things they owned, the great day they had and I just felt so alone. Which was ridiculous because anyone looking at my Instagram that day would have seen me upload four, yup FOUR different photos of how lovely my Saturday had been, yet the way I was feeling didn’t reflect what I was portraying on Social media, which got me thinking, how many of us hide what is really going on in our lives by only showing the great bits, the bits we want everyone to see?
Nobody lets the world see the cracks in their life, Social media has built this world where everything needs to be fantastic and great, how many times have you seen a cryptic post of how bad someone’s day has gone and the only thought you’ve had is ‘how annoying it is they are being so miserable’. We don’t let the ‘other half’ of our lives even get a glimmer of space on our pages so no one can really relate when their lives are going shit. You know those days where you just want to throw a brick at someone because everything is going wrong, you’ve stubbed your toe, dropped your food shopping, porridge has over spilled, and the hot water has run out (first world problems right?) We all have them, despite the list of things you have managed to achieve, places you have visited, money you have made we all have these days, don’t we?
So this post is 20 things my Instagram doesn’t tell people about me.
- I will never be happy with my weight, no matter how I look I will always want to be a few pounds lighter
- Some days I post photos of me at the gym, but in actual fact, I probably only did 20 minutes on the bike, because the girl working her abs looked like a pro and intimidated me, or the guy that bullied me all through school is in there and he still makes me feel like shit
- How tired and lonely I feel when I am staying in these ‘nice’ hotels with work, and the constant struggle of wanting to talk to loved ones but the charger plug being on the other side of the room. The free food, new places and pretty photos may look like I am loving life but I would rather be at home.
- I have amazing friends but I don’t get to see them half as much as I would like to
- My favourite way to spend a Saturday night is watching strictly with wine and my favourite people
- I am a really bad cook the majority of the time and the majority of meals involve toast despite the endless photos of healthy paleo brunches
- Spending time with my family will always be the most important, I will always pick them over some fun social occasion because you know they are family and they are the only ones you get
- I only own a few designer bags which were bought as a present. One I really hate but it looks good in Instagram photos (yup I just said it) and I don’t care about it half as much as the £30 bag my mum bought me from Topshop
- You don’t know how cold my food actually is by the time I have taken the perfect photo and snapchatted it
- How bored my friends are, holding all their belongings out of the way, desperate to take a sip of their drinks but nope they can’t, not until I have finished taking photos of cocktails to make sure everyone knows we are on a night out and having a great time
- I am not actually a materialistic person at all, I have different clothes to wear because luckily I live with my sister so means double wardrobe, yay! What it doesn’t show is how much of my wardrobe is actually from Primark
- How many carrot sticks I have to snack on so I can eat the amount of ‘treats’ I want and of course, Instagram, if my diet was like Instagram suggested I would be a few stone heavier.
- I don’t smile in photos because I hate my teeth not because I don’t like smiling
- I also have the worst resting bitch face
- I would love to be one of those girls that go to work in a nice pair of heels but I can’t walk in them. I have one go-to pair for nights out and the rest of my life is spent in my nikes. The only upside to my trampy appearance is that I’m tall.
- BBC One in winter is literally all I need on a Sunday night. Country file, strictly, planet earth making my average age about 54.
- You don’t see the 15 other selfies that didn’t make the cut.
- The little things that make me really happy, like when my nephew runs up to me and hugs me (it rarely happens) how me and my sister like literally all the same things, inside jokes with my friends, when a friend really knows me and it is shown by the little things they send me, phone calls from my mum and those texts from that one person that makes me smile before I have even opened it.
- How I look the majority of the time when I haven’t done anything with my hair, I couldn’t be bothered with my makeup and I look like a bit of a scruff, or when I dive into the supermarket in a rush smelling of horse and no one will come near me.
- You don’t see the days where I just want to give up and I am crying to my mum in the hope she has all the answers to every problem.
All I am trying to say is life is never perfect or an easy ride for anyone, I would hate for someone to feel like I did that day, after looking through my Instagram thinking that everything seems perfect in my life.
I’m not trying to sell myself short, despite how bad I have made my life sound above it’s not the case at all I know how fortunate I am I think it’s important we know that everything we see is not always the whole picture. The other day I saw a post that said if you lost everything you owned and then got it back, you would be happy and it’s so true. I know if I lost everything I have now it would take a long time to rebuild it. I’m so grateful I’ve done this for myself because there is more to this life than constant comparison.