This title wasn’t clickbait don’t worry, it is just something that has been playing on my mind for a while. Busy seems to my buzz word at the minute. Every inch of my life is planned from what I will do when I wake up, my time at work, my lunch hour and all the hours after work. I have what they call major timexiety. Everything is planned and everything is given a set amount of time that I always over compensate. 45 minutes to get ready for work (it takes 20) 10 minutes to walk to work (it takes 4) 30 minutes to mentally prepare myself at my desk before people start to talk to me (that takes 7 hours). From now on I have vowed to make sure I am productive and not busy. If I feel like I have achieved what I want for the day, then I am going to let myself switch off, guilt free.
Living like this is makes me miserable. Yes, I have things to do, but really the majority of them are not life changing. When I look at how I am spending my time, I realise I set myself unrealistic targets about what I should be achieving. My new year’s resolutions were to read a set amount of books a month, to swim on top of my current gym schedule, to finish house jobs I still haven’t completed and to ironically mediate more to make time for me. All I have found is this has just added to the ever-increasing long list of things I ‘need’ to do. I don’t need to read all these books, yes it is good to read, I love a new book but this added pressure of reading a new book each week just means I am squeezing time. Yes, swimming is good for me, but I am already active and I have upped my spinning, so chill its ok if you don’t keep up with something, you can start again when you feel like you can make more time of it. Yes I have house jobs to do but this job, in particular, relies on someone helping me, that is also their free time I need to use as well so if I have to just chip away at it as I go along that is also fine. Progress is progress.
I realise how much I have been stressing myself out of late, how much I have been making myself miss out on because I have told myself I am too ‘busy’. We watch so many films where the super successful young girl is the one pulling her hair out, exhausted, coffee in one hand phone in the other. In the UK we have this warped ideology that to be successful you have to be working every hour and fully committed to being ‘busy’ and ‘working’ unsociable hours. Personally, I think it is a pile of crap. I don’t think we get a balance at all, we are either on one end of the spectrum or the other, we are either working until we cry or slacking in front of Netflix telling ourselves this is our ‘self-care’ and our time for us because we need it.
I hear and see the term ‘self-care’ thrown around so much lately. I fully support the notion behind looking after ourselves. But is there a reason why this word has been appearing so much over the last two years, more so than ever before? Did we not know how to take care of ourselves before this or were our parents and our peers just better at fighting this work-life balance than we are?
They say we are the spoilt generation, the generation who the majority were able to afford to go to university and our parents told us we could be anything we wanted to be, we were then hit by a recession so we had to go out and fight for our place in the world which involved shitty jobs, volunteering and free internships and most of us have carved a path that we are pretty proud of. But we need to get an understanding between busy and voluntarily drowning ourselves in a bid for success.
I turn down so much to keep up with my blog, I wake early or hurry home to take photos in good natural lighting, I do as much Todhpurs work as I can physically and mentally can do to keep on top of it all and I try to arrange to do stuff with friends as often as I can one for my own sanity and two because I want to be a good friend and it goes without saying that I want to see them.
From all this rambling which I have probably lost you on, all I am trying to say is; I no longer want to be too busy. From now on I am just prioritising. Some days I will need to prioritise my blog over a diet coke at the pub because it is an outlet I enjoy. Some weeks I may not post as many blog posts or do as much Todhpurs stuff as I would have hoped because laughing with my friends or doing something else I enjoy was more important. Some weeks I won’t read a book but spend 7 hours watching rubbish on Netflix but it has made me feel better and helped me catch up with myself.
Really we are never too busy. There are 24 hours in a day to achieve what you wish for them. Just don’t burn yourself out to create an image of what success should look like. So from now on, I am going to try and not use the word busy on this blog, for my own sanity and yours.