I am told all the time, you only live once, live with no regrets, or better to regret than not try but there are several things I have done which I look back on and think why on earth did I stress about that stuff? Honestly, it wasn’t worth that aggro I caused myself, real #firstworldproblems. So these are things I am going to learn to not give AF (or at least less of one) about.
Not keeping up an Instagram theme
Girls who can maintain these flawless, planned, crisp, glamourous, matching coloured Instagram themes I salute you. You have Instagram skills I could only dream of. I have tried many a theme but I just can’t keep them up. My ideas change and I grow to hate and resent them when my photo that I have dutifully taken doesn’t fit in with the rest of them and I can’t use it. I spend endless hours on UNUM planning my photos. It is just so much effort, so whilst I am not saying I won’t continue to plan my Instagram better the theme days are behind me.
Following over 1000 accounts
Following with the Instagram theme (I know, it consumes too much of my life). I gained this notion that told me it would be a sin, Instagram suicide if I was to follow more than 1000 accounts. It would look spammy, it would make people believe I only gained my followers because I follow so many others. So I would tirelessly unfollow accounts, often accounts I actually really liked to get my numbers down. Seriously?! What am I doing? From now on I am not going to care about numbers, I am going to follow whoever I like whenever I like.
Saving money all the time
Yes having savings behind me is a good idea and gives me more financial stability, but it is incredibly mundane. I miss out, I turn down making memories with my favourite people for a night in with the dog, for what? To save more and build a phobia of spending it. And whilst I am not going to give up saving money completely, I am not crazy, I am going to be more carefree about it, in a mature, adult way of course!
What other people think
For my whole life, I have always cared what other people think of me, which has always made me into quite a reserved person. I think over the years being in a stable workplace and group of friends has given me the confidence to come out of my shell a bit more but I always worry about what an absolute idiot I sound and go home regretting saying anything at all. I have noticed lately it’s these people who don’t care what they sound like, the ballsy approach they have and the occasional arse lick (not my thing but it seems to work) get ahead, so, whilst I am conscious I don’t want to turn into some arrogant arsehole, from now on if I say something idiotic, which I will, I am me. I am going to learn to brush it off and leave it behind.
What people think of blogging and my blog
The biggest downfall to blogging and social media is the constant comparison you put yourselves through. Reading blogs thinking, she is amazing, why didn’t I think of that post? Why is she so much better than me? Will I ever be that good? Do people think I am shit, and wonder why I waste so much time on it? Or when someone beats you to the post you were about to publish and wonder if you can still post it or will you be accused of just copying a post and not being authentic. I have learned so much along the way with blogs, you are always learning and changing. I look back at my early posts and laugh. Blogging was so different back then, a lot more amateur and I am not suggesting for one minute, mine doesn’t still sit within in the amateurish blogging category, but to be honest I am just not going to care anymore. I love my blog, the opportunities it brings, the people I meet along the way. It pushes me in so many different directions. If someone doesn’t like it, they can save themselves time by not reading it.
Having all the answers
I think because I was always a bit average through school and as a teenager, when I became an adult I wanted to prove to everyone I am more than that, which gave me this underlining desire to be perfect at everything I did (an unsuccessful task in its self) I also have this obssession of wanting to have the answer to everything, answers to questions that there was no reason on earth I should know. I am not talking general knowledge quiz answers but just every day questions that I would get asked where any normal person would just hold their hands up and say ‘sorry, I don’t know, but I can see who does’. I would rack my brains endlessly then start google-ing until I knew enough to give someone the answer. So from now on, if you ask me a question I don’t know, I am sorry I don’t know it, but we all have the same resources to find out, and I will be happy to help, and probably still google until I know it!
People’s opinions of my braces
The date of my brace fitting is looming and I am a bag of mixed emotions, one minute I am so excited, I have just been away with a group of smiley girls and I can’t wait to feel like that, but then the flip side, I am nervous AF what if people won’t talk to me? What if I look even more ridiculous than I already imagine? What if it’s really painful? Am I wasting money? Will people think I have too much money to burn? The concerns are endless. At the end of the day I am doing this for me, and only me so the only opinion I need to care about on the matter is my own and my orthodontists obviously.
Having the ‘latest’ thing
There was a period of time where I became a little bit too materialistic, it wasn’t me and I am actually embarrassed by the person I became. I wanted all the new trainers that were coming out, designer bags I didn’t like, the best products apple had to offer. I felt it was ok if it went on my credit card, I paid it off but I missed out on doing things and seeing places that I could have done at the cost of such excessive gifts. I am happy that I am no longer in this place, but with a house to run and just a general want to travel and do things it means I had to sacrifice things. The easiest for me was new clothes, bags and shoes I just didn’t need but there was always this small bit of jealousy/ sadness that I was ‘missing out’ on trends and things others were enjoying, I managed to hold onto my iPhone 5 for 3 years before upgrading and felt I was a million miles away from the version of me that would spend money on ‘stuff’ carelessly. I am learning to not care about what I have compared to others. I have a good collection of ‘staple’ clothes I now invest in and a diverse wardrobe thankfully because I live with my sister, a nice house, good car and things I value way above materialistic products I could spend my money on. So I may not look as cool as you or the old me but it is definitely more rewarding and less stressful.
How Instagram-able my house is
I don’t have an Instagram-able house, it is not a picturesque little cottage, a tall victorian town house or even a character filled little terrace house. It’s the epitome of British 1960’s architecture, it is spacious, generous room sizes, nice garden but I don’t ever look at it and think I can’t stop taking photos of you.I bought the house with my sister, it was never going to be a forever home (daily mail story in the making) so we got something we knew we would make a fair bit of money on. The location couldn’t be better, I can walk into town in two minutes and work in four. The neighbours are delightful and every takes pride in their plot but I have wasted many an hour wishing my house could be a bit prettier, for what? A photo? I am so lucky to have been able to afford a house like this with no help from my parents, so I am really going to give up caring for the sake of one or two photos that my house doesn’t have bay windows and a duck egg front door.
What everyone else is doing
For me, this is the biggest eater of my life. I let constant comparison of what people are up to. Jobs, clothes, weekends, holidays, dogs, houses you name it I will compare but lately I have really learnt to let go of this and my god it feels good. I feel I am pretty good at understanding there is more to the story than you see from a snippet of someone’s life. I do feel lately, if I see someone on an amazing holiday or with a really nice new car I feel genuinely happy for them, instead of wondering what they are doing that I am not, to afford things like that and it makes day to day life so much happier!