The new year. It is a fresh start. A beginning. A chance to create something new, something different. It is exciting, starting a blank page in a new journal. Yet when you think about it January 1st is no different to any other day of the year.
Traditionally I guess the festive period has been a time for us to reflect. We slow down, take time off work together with all of the family for the first time in the year. We have time for the ones we love and often realise how little we make room for this. We have an opportunity to rest and enjoy activities we usually neglect as a result of day to day life. This often leaves us wanting better for our future selves. Resulting in the ‘new year new me’ or at least ‘better me’ mantras.
I have always thrived off the new page feeling. Whether it was January 1st, a new school year, my first day at a new job or even that first page in a new notebook. The anticipation and excitement of what the future can hold always makes me happy.
A few weeks back I reviewed my goals which I set at the beginning of the year. I was rather proud of myself for how well I did without focusing on them too much. After which I was eager to start planning my goals for 2018. I am a planner, I love a list, a checkpoint, a focus on the future but something changed.
When I thought about 2018, what I wanted to get from it, what I would like to achieve I could think of little. This is not because I want a lazy year. I don’t want to sit idly and wait for things to come to me but I want to relax a little more and enjoy it.
This year I will not be setting myself goals. Don’t get me wrong, there is so much I still want to achieve this year. I feel more motivated and driven than ever before. For the first time, I am confident in myself and the choices I make. (when I haven’t been drinking) that I will naturally improve on the important aspects of my life. Without feeling, I need to add numbers and time frames next to goals to achieve them.
All my goals when I thought long and hard about them were all to grow. (All but my waist which of course I would appreciate it that part could shrink a little). I realised at that point I was on the right track. Whilst it is healthy to set yourself goals throughout the year I need a break from trying to strive for perfect all the time.
Sure I am going to want to try to be a little healthier. Develop a structured gym routine. I would love for Todhpurs to keep growing, work to continue as well as it is. I would be thrilled if I could travel more and tick a few new places off. I also would like to spend as much time with friends and family as I can. Do I believe I will only do these if I write them down in January? No, no I don’t.
I am a stubborn person by nature. If I want to do something I will. If something loses its appeal I won’t give it the time of day no matter how many times I write it down. This has often made me feel guilty for not achieving something I wanted to so early on in the year. Life moves in different ways. I shouldn’t allow myself to feel guilty because in January I wanted to go swimming once a week before even checking out the swimming pool timetable.
For the first time in my life, I am content with where I am. I will always want for things a little out of my price range. This is the drive needed to work hard and keep my head down. Yet overall I am really rather chuffed to be the person I am. I want to spend 2018 being a little more grateful for who and where I am instead of constantly wishing for more.