I wrote this blog post so it was ready to go out on Sunday morning and then on Saturday night we were hit with the news Caroline Flack had taken her own life. No celebrity’s death has stopped me in my tracks like Caroline’s has and that is not because I was a massive fan of hers, I liked her a lot, I thought she was talented, kind, funny, beautiful and to me, she always seemed so happy and even in times when perhaps she wasn’t happy she was so professional. I remember Love Island 2018 when she started the series engaged and by the end of the series she was single and yet she smiled through all of it.
She was hounded and taunted by the media. Made to feel like her single status was a failure which made all her successes redundant, (for her we need to continue to fight to change this opinion). Caroline’s death comes 11 months to the day when Mike Thalassitis took his own life. Nearly a year since I wrote a blog post about my own struggles. When I decided I had had enough of people feeling alone and spoke up about my own mental health. I strongly believe Caroline’s death has nothing to do with Love Island. It was clear she loved the show, she was the show and us the public hounded ITV until she had no choice to step down. I know as a series about finding love (ignoring the real reasons people go on the show) ITV could not have someone charged for domestic abuse hosting it. The fact The CPS were charging her in the first place is another matter. This was all out of ITVs control but how she was treated and supported wasn’t out of our control and we let jokes at her expense happen. We made jokes to our friends thinking that if they were behind closed doors it would not matter. This is the cancel culture we still allow women to suffer. Where was this judgement (I am absolutely not condoning any vocal or physical judgement of anyone, it is just an example) when Ant crashed under the influence? because to me that as much a crime, he was welcomed back like ITV’s prodigal son and we applauded him for his bravery and strength, where was that compassion for Caroline? This is not about Ant either, I am appalled at the barrage of abuse he is now receiving in the wake of this news.
As mentioned before there were no suicides from Big Brother because social media wasn’t around when Nick Bateman cheated. He got a headline or two for a few weeks and then he could disappear. It is not the show, it is how the contestants are treated away from the show by the media and by everyday people like us.
The worst part of it all is that we could all see it coming and nobody stopped it. It was fine to not care, have a bit of a joke whilst she was alive but now she is dead and its too late everyone seems to care. I don’t know how many more reminders we all need to learn to be kind, to learn to take bullying at whatever age, mental health and our words more seriously. As Caroline said herself, in a world where you can be anything be kind.
This week has included so much change for me. My sister has moved back into our house. Since she moved back I have not had to make a meal and she completely reorganised the kitchen and utility room, it has been an absolute dream so far.
This is my weekly round up.
I was lucky enough to watch Everybody’s talking about Jamie at the Apollo Theatre on Wednesday with my two sisters and my friend Catherine which I loved every single second of it. I have become obsessed with the story, I cannot stop reading articles about Jamie and I have even tracked down the original BBC documentary Jamie; Drag queen and 16. It was the most empowering, uplifting, camp, hilarious few hours of my year so far. As a massive musical fan, the soundtrack did not disappoint either and will be keeping us company on many a road trip to come. A firm Westend favourite I would love to see again.
On Saturday night I stayed in and I watched the Taylor Swift documentary, Miss America. After hearing the news of Caroline I don’t think I was in the right frame of mind to watch this. I cannot see why any women would want to be famous. This documentary is incredible though, I have no shame in admitting I am a big fan of Taylor Swift, more so her as a person than her music but I do love her work as well. The documentary shows so many facets of her career and success and the battles as a woman she has gone through to get where she is now. She is a truly brilliant person. The documentary is a great watch.
Whilst in Soho we went to Dirty Bones for lunch. We had visited the Carnaby street restaurant back and Christmas and really enjoyed it. The Soho restaurant was around the corner from the theatre so worked well. I really like this chain, the cocktails are great, the food is reasonable and they have a good mixture of vegan, vegetarian and meat options to suit everyone. They also had a really good lunch deal on which included cocktail, main and a side for about £15 I think. The restaurants are cool with, neon lights and other unnecessary but we love them Instagram touches.
My sister has me hooked on the Yorkshire provender Brocolli and cheddar soup. I really hate vegetables, broccoli isn’t something which ever features in my cooking so no one is more surprised by this than I but I love it. Packed full of veggie goodness and low fat. The fact I am mentioning it on here shows how good it is.
I finished Americanah last weekend and absolutely loved it. I was desperate to see how it ended without wanting the story to ever finish. My favourite kind of book. I have also just finished reading David Sedaris’ Me talk pretty one day and found it utterly fabulous. It is so funny. I wasn’t sure if it was going to be for me but despite it perhaps being a little too high brow for me, I don’t know?, I have loved it nonetheless. I have been making the most of second-hand books of late from charity shops or eBay. I also breezed through the essay published by Cham- name we should all be feminist, taken from her TedX talk. I wish I could give this book to everyone as a present but for now, if you don’t want to read it I urge you to watch her TedTalk.
Most of all time with my sisters, we go through turmoil, anger, arguments, I am never talking to you again but through it all, they are my sisters and I am beyond grateful we are the three of us and I am so thrilled we get to enjoy so much time together, I hope I never take this for granted.
Laughter and cocktails in the sunshine in Soho on Wednesday was exactly what I needed as a mid-week pick me up.
Tuesday morning started with an avo, egg and sourdough breakfast with Lauren. I have mentioned it many time before but these early morning catch-ups are often the highlight of my week. I love seeing friends early and having something to look forward to before work has even begun. I am lucky I don’t have to start work until 09:30 if I want to so we had two hours of none stop chatting.